Fix Me

  Chapter One

  “What don’t you get about me telling you to leave me alone, Michael?”

  I stood in the doorway of my apartment, my arms crossed defensively over my chest, staring at the guy I had broken up with three days ago who had somehow found his way into my building and to my door. Michael was a cheater. Michael was also a major asshole when he didn’t get what he wanted. He didn’t want us to break up, so he continued to call and harass me, hoping that if he pushed my buttons enough he would get me to cave and be with him again.

  “Jules, come on. I said I was sorry,” he pouted as he took a step towards me.

  I held up a hand to stop him, “You take one more step closer to me and I will scream for help. Now, get the fuck out of here before I call the cops for stalking and harassment.”

  I wouldn’t actually call the cops. The idea to threaten it was something that had just popped up. It would take the cops too long to get here if I did bother to call them and even then, Michael’s dad was an attorney, he could sweet talk his douchebag of a son out of anything. He huffed, knowing I wasn’t going to budge, and stomped down the hallway to the staircase that led outside. My poor neighbors below me were probably wondering what man-child was having a hissy fit upstairs. Just my ex-boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.

  My phone rang from my coffee table and I ran to answer it, after locking my door to be safe. Angie, one of my best friends who lived up here in the cities with me, was calling. Man, just wait until she got a load of what Michael was pulling now.

  “Hey Ang, what’s up?” I asked, lying on my couch.

  “Tabby and I are gonna go over to The Loop in Saint Louis Park. Wanna go with us?” She sounded very cheerful today.

  “Yeah, definitely. I don’t want to be anywhere near my apartment. Somehow Michael snuck his way into my building and began harassing me at my own doorstep,” I rolled my eyes.

  “No fucking way. What did you do?”

  “Told him to leave me alone but he’s not getting it. I could get a fucking flashing neon sign and the guy would still be blind to it.”

  “Maybe you should look into getting some sort of restraining order, Julianna. He hasn’t left you alone since you broke up with him.”

  Michael and I had been dating for almost three years. We met on one of those dating sites and just happened to hit it off on our first date. Next thing you know, three years had gone by and I caught him in a lie. I then found out that he was cheating on me with not only one girl, but three. How he managed to balance us all for so long, was a question I still wasn’t prepared to ask.

  I just remember him trying to play it off like I was crazy when I caught him, that I was seeing something that wasn’t there. Then, he tried to place the blame on me. ‘You’ve been working so much lately, Jules. I got lonely’ was his opening statement. It was a lucky thing that he was a lawyer under his dad’s firm because he was terrible in making arguments. I could be a better lawyer than him and I didn’t even study law.

  Rather, I was a writer. Working on my first novel in fact…I had been working on it for the last seven years. It wasn’t my fault I was hitting road block after road block. None of my stories ever went anywhere. Until that book was written and published, I wrote for the Star Tribune, one of the main newspapers of Minneapolis/Saint Paul. Angie and I both wrote for the Variety section. Teaming up for the Celebrities news portion while I also wrote for the Books and Music section and Angie wrote about Movies and Travel. All of our friends worked at the newspaper with us. Everyone had their sections that they made up and it was great.

  “I’m sure Michael and his father would find some way around it, Ang. Best to just get out of here and hang out with the girls. After his crap today, I definitely need a drink.” Getting up off the couch, I walked down my short hallway to my bedroom to decide on what to wear.

  I lived in Woodbury, Minnesota while my friends were scattered all over the cities. Woodbury reminded me of the small city that I lived in when I was growing up back in Wisconsin. That was probably why I loved living there.

  “Okay, but if it gets worse, you have to do something. What are you gonna wear tonight?” Major change of pace there, Angie.

  “Well, it’s January in Minnesota. Something warm, perhaps?” I teased as I looked through my closet.

  “Oo, what about that pink sweater that you bought at the mall when we went a few weeks ago? Wear it with those light blue ripped jeans that I said went really well together,” I pulled out the outfit as she told me.

  “Can I at least choose the shoes?” I whined as I laid the clothes on my bed.

  “If it’s those brown knee-high riding boots, then yes you can,” she laughed.

  I rolled my eyes and grabbed them. I was going to choose those anyways.

  “Okay, let me get dressed, I’ll meet you guys there in thirty.”

  We hung up and I went into the bathroom, quickly putting on my natural makeup with a gold eyeliner that wasn’t too dark to be extremely noticeable. I was never a makeup person; my two older stepsisters weren’t really around much for me to learn how to do makeup and my mother didn’t wear it. My mother was the type of person to believe that a light blue shade of eyeshadow went with every outfit.

  Once my face was finished, I got dressed then took my hair down from the messy bun that was sitting on top of my head. It fell in waves down past my shoulders and I controlled the frizz with a little Moroccan oil before heading out the door. Luckily, Michael wasn’t lurking around any corners and I got to my car without a problem. Soon, I was taking off down I-94 to meet with my friends.

  Not surprisingly, Angie and I arrived at the bar at the same exact time. We had even gotten a parking spot on the same level of the parking garage of the galleria where the bar was at. Our schedules of getting places were really in sync sometimes that it was scary. Tabby had beaten us to the bar, as usual. She liked to get places early while I shot for more ‘on time’.

  Spencer and his wife Kim were sitting at the table with Tabby when we got there, Angie giving me the look that she didn’t know that they were joining us as well. Oh well, the more the merrier. We took our seats as the bar started to pick up in people coming in for a drink. I ordered a blueberry mojito, forgoing my usual glass of wine, as the rest of the table ordered. Tabby looked at me the second the waitress walked away.

  “What happened now?”

  “What are you talking about?” I nervously chuckled.

  “You ordered a strong drink rather than your usual singular glass of wine, something is up.” She gave me her signature Tabby look that said she could read your mind.

  I rolled my eyes, giving up, “Michael showed up at my apartment today. I just need something to get my mind off of it.”

  “You and Michael broke up?” Spencer asked, he wasn’t necessarily caught up on the gossip as the girls of the newspaper.

  Nodding, I happily took my drink from the waitress when she returned, “Yeah, a few days ago. Found out he was cheating on me with three other girls. He blamed the schedule of the newspaper for him being ‘lonely’.”

  He shook his head and laughed as Kim piped up, “That is the worst excuse any man could give.”

  We all agreed as we took a sip of our drinks. The next few hours were spent chatting while Tabby would point out a guy or two every once in a while, for me and Angie to assess. She was set on finding us guys. Nice respecting boys who wouldn’t break our hearts, I believe her words were. As soon as my mojito was gone, I was feeling a small buzz and I needed something that wasn’t an alcoholic beverage.

  “I’m gonna go get a glass of water from the bar,” I said to my group before I got up and made my way to the now crowded bar.

  I was two steps away from putting my hands on the only small open space of the bar, between
two semi-large groups of men, when someone from behind bumped into me hard and I began to lose my balance. Before I hit the ground, a guy from the group to my left stood up and grabbed me around the waist, helping me stand up straight.

  “Have you had a lot to drink?” He laughed as I finally took in the man who pretty much just saved me from utter humiliation.

  He was tall, over six feet, which was a lot to say because I was only 5’3”. He was lean, and I could tell from the way his gray shirt hugged his torso and his arms, he was muscular. His light brown hair was a little shaggy but in that sexy type of way, and his eyes were milk chocolate brown. I could also see that he had a smile to die for, his teeth glistening white from behind his lips. He looked like he just walked off a fucking movie set.

  I shook my head recalling his question, “No, I’ve only had one drink. Someone bumped into me, I just wanted to get a glass of water.”

  Why did I feel the need to justify myself to him? He obviously wouldn’t care why I was at the bar. Thank god, I was just getting water and not saying ‘oh I was on the way to the bathroom because I had to pee’.

  “Water is always a good choice after having alcohol,” he smirked.

  Was he teasing me? Could that be taken as flirting? No, there was no way that this tall glass of hot and sexy was thinking of me that way. There were girls practically throwing themselves at the other guys in his group, tall skinny blonde girls who looked like they fake tanned a lot because nobody was that tan in the middle of winter in the Midwest. Me, I was short and packed some pounds. I was insecure and not confident, but I liked to pretend that I was until I was alone.

  Nobody liked to hang out with that person who tends to put themselves down a little bit too much. Remember when I mentioned that my ex, Michael, was an asshole? Yeah, he liked to point out the flaws of my body over the last two years…even during sex. It wasn’t anything I didn’t already know, my stomach wasn’t flat, my thighs weren’t sticks, my arms didn’t look like they were going to break if I picked up something too heavy. It wasn’t news to me, I had grown up in this body, I knew the issues that I had.

  I looked down, this guy’s arm was still around my waist, and it seemed to fit perfectly around me…maybe he just had long arms? He followed my gaze and quickly removed his arm, giving me a nervous chuckle.

  “Why don’t I help you get your water,” he offered, pushing some of his friends to the side and offering me his seat.

  “Thanks, you don’t have to do that…um…I don’t even know your name.” Wow, I sounded like I only spoke once a year with the way I was embarrassing myself.

  “Finn,” he held his hand out to me.

  “Julianna,” I smiled and shook it.

  “Now, let’s see if we can get you that water.” He tried to flag down the bartender from the other side of the bar.

  I put my hand on his shoulder to try to stop him, “Finn, it’s totally fine. You can get back to your friends and your girlfriend. I’m perfectly capable of attempting to get a glass of water.”

  He looked back at me, his brows furrowed in confusion. Well, hell. That look never looked hotter than in that moment.

  “Girlfriend?” He asked me.

  I looked over his shoulder at the girl who was staring at him longingly across his group of friends and lifted my chin in her direction for him, “You know, the girl who looks like she wants to ravage you right here on the bar top?”

  He looked in the direction I signaled and started laughing before looking back at me, “To be honest, Julianna, I don’t know who that girl is. She came over with her friends to talk to me and my friends.”

  I nodded slowly as the bartender came over to our side of the bar and he ordered me my water. Watching his friends interact with these girls was much different than how Finn was interacting with me. He was acting like a gentleman, even saved me from a nasty fall. His friends on the other hand, looked like they knew they were the shit and were just trying to get a girl to take home with them. The bartender filled up a glass and handed it to Finn, who then handed it off to me.

  “Your water, m’lady,” Finn smiled as I took the glass.

  “Thank you again,” I paused before I found myself asking a question I didn’t mean to ask out loud, “So, do you think you’re the shit like your friends over there?”

  His laugh greeted me once more, it was a great sound. One of those laughs that made you want to start laughing because it was so contagious.

  “Well, I guess sometimes soccer players have a bit of an inflated ego,” he admitted.

  “Soccer players? You guys all play soccer?” I took a sip of my water as he watched me.

  “Yeah, we play for Minnesota United FC. The major league soccer team of the state.”

  I pursed my lips and nodded, “Was that last part supposed to make me swoon?”

  He looked surprised by my playfulness, “Most girls do, I will admit.”

  Standing up, I patted his shoulder in a consoling manner, “Well, I’m not like most girls then I guess. Thanks for the water, and thank you for saving me from a major fall.”

  “Anytime,” he smiled before I turned and went back to my group, taking my seat next to Angie.

  “Who was that hunk you were talking to?” Angie nudged me with her elbow.

  I blushed, “That was Finn. Practically saved my life. Some asshole pushed me when I was walking towards the bar and I almost fell but Finn caught me just in time.”

  “Sounds like a love story just waiting to bust out,” Tabby smiled as she took a drink of her Coca-Cola.

  Spencer and Kim looked at Finn and his group for a second.

  “Why do they look familiar?” Kim asked as she studied them from afar.

  “Probably because they play for the Minnesota United FC. I guess Minnesota has a major league soccer team.” I played with my straw in my drink.

  Somehow, I didn’t care about what Finn did, all I could think about was his deep brown eyes that made me just want to dive in. I zoned out while the rest of my group talked about the soccer team. After what felt like an eternity, I looked up from swirling the ice cubes and water around in my glass to see all four of my friends staring at me.

  “Uh, why are you all staring at me?” I looked at each of them quickly.

  The sound of a throat clearing came from behind me and I slowly swiveled in my chair, greeted by the sight of Finn standing behind me. Oh, they were staring at him…just like I was now. My cheeks flushed again as he smiled at me.

  “Hey, Finn.” My voice was kind of quiet, I wasn’t sure why.

  “Julianna, do you want to take a walk with me?” His eyes looked hopeful.

  I checked the clock on my Fitbit, it was close to midnight, “It’s almost midnight, how can I be sure that you aren’t an axe murderer trying to lure me away from my friends to kill me?”

  I watched way too many crime shows apparently.

  He held out his hand to me for the second time today, “Guess you’ll just have to take a leap of faith.”

  Angie pushed my arm, “Go ahead, we won’t leave without you. Take your phone…just in case,” she gave me a wink.

  I grabbed my phone out of my purse, leaving the bag with my friends as I put on my winter coat and took Finn’s hand, letting him guide me. The cold air greeted us, it wasn’t horrifically cold like it was on New Year’s Eve, a whopping 25 below with wind chill, but it was still chilly. My hand felt warm in Finn’s though, guess I wouldn’t need my mittens after all.

  “So, I told you what I do. What do you do, Julianna?” He said, his breath making large clouds as he spoke.

  “I write for the Variety section of Star Tribune. Mostly about celebrities, but I write about books and music as well,” I gave the long answer. This was going just great, keep it up Jules.

  “Have you always wanted to write?” He asked, looking over at me.

  “Isn’t it my turn to ask you a question?” I teased as I bumped my arm into his.

  “Fair enough, your que
stion is…”

  “Why did you want to walk with me?” It was the only question really on my mind.

  “Your personality is refreshing, if I’m being honest. All my friends do when we go out is want girls to throw themselves at us. I just got out of a relationship not that long ago, I was never one for looking for what they are.”

  “I just got out of a relationship too,” I admitted, not even thinking.

  “Oh, really? How long ago?” He stopped at a bench and took a seat, I followed his lead.

  “Three days. Damn, that sounds terrible.” I shook my head at myself.

  “Three days and you’re already catching the attention of other men. I’d say you’re doing pretty well after your breakup,” he turned towards me, blocking the light wind with his back for me.

  “I ended it. I was heartbroken for the first two days, then I realized that I could really do better than that asshole,” I crossed one leg over the other.

  “What did he do? If you don’t mind me asking…” he added the last part as a quick afterthought. He really didn’t seem like he wanted to pry.

  “He was cheating on me with three other girls,” I stopped when Finn said ‘what’ out loud, then he nodded for me to continue, “He said I was working long hours and he got lonely when I was only working the same hours I always did. I should have broken up with him a long time ago, the last two years he felt the need to point out everything that was wrong with me. His favorite time to do it was when we uh…got intimate.”

  Why was I telling my whole sob story to this beautiful guy that I just met? He just let me talk. If he were Michael, he would have cut in a million times then told me he was bored of my story.

  “Why would he tell you there were things wrong with you? I don’t see anything wrong with you,” he gave me a shy smile.

  My cheeks burned as they blushed, “To him, I was too heavy…not skinny enough. I’ve always been this way, even when I was just a kid. I can’t help it…”

  Before I knew it, Finn was enveloping me in his arms and hugging me, “He was a douchebag.”

  It felt nice to be held this way, Michael wasn’t much for hugging.